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I am 100% in love with my oshi. She is a small corpo vtuber with around 100 viewers per stream, as someone who has been there since more or less the beginning she recognises me, but that only makes it worse. Making her laugh with my comments, helping her when something is wrong with the stream, getting my comments hearted after the stream, when she remembers details about me. All those things hurt so much anons. Because there is this girl literally at the other side of the world, that can make me laugh no matter what happened earlier in the day, that melts my heart when she laughs, that even when she is not the sharpest tool in the shed she is still is a realistic and sensible person with a heart of gold, this hard working and socially awkward girl inspires me to do and be better as a person, she makes me look forward to something in life. This person is someone i will never be with irl. I even recently picked up drawing for her, and obviously i am not that good at the moment so when i see better fan art of her that the one i made, when i see her so happy with those fan arts, when she comments on them and even follow a few of the artist on twitter it makes me so jealous that i don't know what to do. I love her from the bottom of my heart,and i would do anything for her to be at my side,but i now that i have already the best relationship i could have with her, a familiar name in chat nothing more nothing less. It hurts so much anons
