>>15361738Reminded me of this passage of Shine On I was listening to earlier today, "You were caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom, blown on the steel breeze".
She clearly wasn't nearly as mature enough to handle what was thrown at her. Hell, she still isn't. All I see is a girl who still struggles with her identity, both online and offline, and doesn't really know what to do with her life.
The splitting of her personality might have been fabricated for content, but I still think it's deeply rooted in her inner conflicts and the relationship with the character she portrays and the company as a whole. She thinks she's the strongest, she thinks she's a burden. She thinks she's funny, she thinks she's annoying. She thinks she's Haato, she thinks she's Haachama.
It's true she's been baiting her graduation for months, as someone already mentioned, but I genuinely think she's been constantly playing with the idea of leaving for good, and "baiting" it has been just her way to cope, familiarize, slowly introduce the idea and make it less scary, both for her and her audience. Kinda like people who joke about killing themselves all the time: they make it seem ironic but it's often a cry for help.
Hopefully the emotional climax she had today liberated her from some of those nasty thoughts. Bless you Chama.
"Come on you target for faraway laughter. Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine."
