What is ‘kouden’?
‘Kouden’ is a monetary gift to offer to the deceased and the survivors in place for incense or flower. This is to mourn the deceased and at the same time to show your sympathy to the survivors by supporting a part of the funeral expenses in the needy time. When you attend a wake, a funeral or a farewell service, you need to bring some money in a special envelope called ‘bushuugibukuro’. If you cannot attend any of them, you must send the money in the ‘bushuugibukuro’ via a registered mail.
However, when the ‘fuhou’ notice says no ‘koden’ accepted, you don’t have to prepare ‘koden.’
How you decide the amount
There is no set amount of ‘koden.’ It depends on the relationship you had with the deceased, your age and the local custom. If you know someone who is attending the funeral, you may want to consult with the person.
When you are representing your company, consult with you boss as to the amount. If you don’t have too close a relationship, a representative can bring ‘koden’ with all names concerned written on the envelope.
A guideline of ‘koden’ amount
In general, the rule of thumb is: when the deceased is a parent it will be 50,000-100,000yen, for a sibling 30,000-50,000yen, for a grand parent 10,000-50,000yen, for other relative 5,000-10,000yen and for a friend, an acquaintance and a colleague 3,000-5,000yen.
You have to avoid these amounts such as 4,000yen or 40,000yen and 9,000yen or 90,000yen because when these numbers are pronounced in Japanese, these sounds suggest a death or a hardship.
