Have you taken the anti-GFE pill yet?
Reminder:

What your oshi wants from you:
>to tune in to her streams for engagement
>to give her money
>to boost her ego
>you get jackshit out of it

What your oshi wants from her partner:
>to deepthroat their cock first thing in the morning until her eyes start to water
>to have their heavy body on top of her while her wet pussy gets jackhammered
>to laugh at her fans together while they fondle each others genitals

You're nothing to these people. Go become something and leave this life behind. Take the anti-GFE pill.