I didn't bully Aloe, or Coco, or Rushia, or whoever else the NijiJP fans supposedly went after. I'm not Japanese, I never watched any of them, I have no idea what 2ch or 5ch or 8ch were doing, I never said a word to any of them. I, and all the other NijiEN fans who started with Lazulight, had nothing to do with any of that shit.

NijiEN fans always wanted unity, we always wanted to get along with HoloEN fans. But then all we get is mountains of abuse, day after day, from numberfags, to HoloENfags, to the mods themselves constantly deleting our own threads while all the threads attacking NijiEN stay up to the bump limit.

And then, after months of this, there's a leak of a private conversation between the NijiENs where Fulgur (and ONLY Fulgur) talks about Council not doing that well. And HoloENfags' response? Anti-Nijiposts EXPLODE, and all I can see in the catalog is "how dare you attack us, after all those claims of wanting unity", when they've been rejecting every attempt at unity we've ever offered. And then we just get blamed, for everything. For EN's problems, for JP's problems, for ID's problems. Somehow we've become the Angra Mainyu of the Vtuber community, and some Nijifags would ironically embrace that to play up some kind of villain role for (Yous), but me?

I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of taking blame for everyone else's mistakes, both at my real job and here. I'm tired of innocent girls like Finana getting attacked thread after thread despite having said nothing wrong. I'm tired of the mods riling up the Holofags by leaving up any pro-Holo flamewar posts while posts defending the NijiENs get deleted. I'm tired of every logically consistent argument here getting replied with "seethe", "cope", and "TL;DR". I'm tired of having every single talk about my oshi devolving into subcount, CCV, and superchats. I'm tired of being treated like a bad person for the Vtubers I watch. I'm tired of having to ironically detach myself and act like a smug asshole with laughing_selen.jpg to hide my insecurities.

In truth, I'm just sad. I'm sad that my oshi will probably read this board, since Nijis do often browse here, and she's gonna think this is all her fault, and that all her friends blame her for all the hate they're getting. I'm sad that this is gonna stick with us forever, with Holofags forever calling us "bitter losers" just because a single blurry screenshot shows a single person saying something bad about Council. It could've been prevented, too. If collabs weren't banned between the two by shit managers, all the members would've definitely gotten closer, and they would probably treat each other more like friends, and would be more hesitant to trash talk each other behind their backs, not because some dumb bird might leak their DMs on accident, but because they'd actually see each other as more than just complete strangers.

It hurts because I really did want us to get along. I really did want unity, for us to watch collabs with all of our oshis together just like all the small corpos like Prism Project and Tsunderia do. For Pomu and Kiara do gush about idols, for Mori and Elira to discuss black culture, for Mysta and Ame to fail to solve mysteries together, for Bae and Luca to pog out IRL and do a cooking stream together, for Sana to see all the new people her friends are hanging out with and to finally join in on their collabs, too. It would've been really great. But all the Holofags hate the Nijifags, and all the Nijifags hate getting attacked by the Holofags, and all the Holofags hate getting attacked back. I hate the hate. I don't know what you guys think I did to deserve all the hate, but I'm telling you, it wasn't me.

TL;DR: I needed a place to vent, just like how Nijis needed a place to vent amogus.webm. I'm sorry, but if you don't like reading, you probably skipped everything above already, so I guess no harm done.