>>2221829First, I'd travel to her roommate's town. Wouldn't be too hard to get there, even with the lockdowns. I would go out and buy, then eat, several 20-pound bags of candy. I wouldn't unwrap the candy, I'd swallow it whole. Whatever I couldn't swallow I'd staple to my torso, until I gained at least 60 pounds from all the still-wrapped candy now attached to me. Then, I'd dress up like a clown, white paint, red nose, rainbow afro, the whole shebang. I'd track down a schoolbus full of schoolchildren that hit 60mph at some point during its route. I'd jump in front of it right as it got up to speed, and, while staring down the thirty tons of steely death running towards me, send a red superchat that read "I'm the world's worst pinata!" that she'd read moments before my body and my candy were flung across her hometown highway.
