What does it mean when I want to see the girls succeed and be happy and feel bad when they seem sad, but when I'm horny I only want to see them hurt and beaten? This isn't vague either since when I'm turned on I genuinely want to see whoever I happen to be watching cry or be raped and genuinely believe and type that they deserve it, going to lengths to see that. But this only lasts until I cum then I go back to wanting them happy and defend them all from shitposts.