>The worst part about knowing (and subsequently disliking) anybody with a fair level of popularity, is that you're constantly exposed to them, whether you like it or not.I used to be a huge Goslingfag for Ame back in autumn, then shit hit the fan and I hated her because I felt betrayed by someone I loved a lot. Although I already was following Gura and liked her content, this made me turn into a massive Chumbud because she was all I had left to enjoy in HoloEN. Then the inevitable collabs with Ame happened, I was pissed and called Ame a whore, deleted my Ame folder and lashed at my fellow teamates as well, I couldn't stand the thought that someone like her was becoming Gura's best friend but it happened anyway and thanks to that Ame skyrocketed in popularity, I tried to pretend she didn't exist so I could keep enjoying Gura but then things happened in my life and I couldn't follow hololive anymore, this was before december.
Last week I managed to get back into hololive and I started catching up with Gura's content until today I finally caught up to the inevitable ringfit yab. I used to think that if the same that happened with Ame were to happen with Gura I'd probably off myself but maybe because Ame's yab made me duller, I was able to avoid another crisis.
I've to apologize to you teamates for calling you names and for calling Ame a whore for something that was already in the past for her, in Gura's case it's probably worse because I cannot stop thinking that when she cried during her cover of The Moon Song she was most likely thinking about... that. She hasn't gotten over it, unlike Ame.
I had a feeling that Ame was trying to save the Goslings in the yab threads because she's an hardcore hololive fan and she knows how the fans of a chuuba feel, she knows about the loneliness and the escapism but I was too blinded by hatred to care.
There is nothing I can do to change the past, the past from a long time ago nor the past from half a year ago. I realize that the Goslings are a small percentage of the hololive fans and that no chuuba is going to ever be my ideal chuuba, I tried to redeem my lost years escaping into hololive willingly seeing GFEs where there could have never been one, I was forcing my delusions onto Ame and other chuubas I followed but this hobby was probably never meant for people like me.
I'm calling it quits teamates, I'm deleting my youtube accounts and the holo/vt folder today. I had low pressure all day and I've been feeling too dizzy it took me an hour to come up with the right words for this post, I should take a nap. This is last time I'm using this board or /jp/. I don't feel like pulling a sudoku, this week I'm just going to enlist in my shithole's military, I've got only a year left before I'm too old for applying and since I've got nothing worth caring for in life anymore, I think it will be a refreshing change of pace.
I leave you my small Gosling collection and I wish you luck. Goodbye teamates.
https://files.catbox.moe/npvahw.zip 
