Ok. Hear me out. Unironically I wanna date and marry Houshou Marine. I started picking up Japanese just so I can actually watch her streams and not only the small animations she makes and also subbed clips.

She seems like such a nice and humble girl. Even if she acts like a brat and haha horny. I do feel like she's pretty mature (which is something not many are).

The fact she's a filthy otaku like me makes me so fucking attracted to her. Althoughafter seeing how much anime/manga reference she makes/understands, I think she probably is even more of an otaku. Which makes me so fucking happy. Cause she basically doesn't understands the meaning of filtering. What she thinks she says.

She feels so fucking real to me for that. And I know that she plays part of it up for the fans, but that's just cause she's streaming.

I don't know man. I know I sound fucking schizo and pathetic right now. But I do genuently love Senchou, she's so damn beautiful and I love her laugh. Sometimes I get really sad about the fact that I'll ever meet her in real life or be able to have a chat with her.

Man. Never ever have I ever felt this for any streamer, fictional character or anyone. Why must I feel so sad about the fact that I'll never be able to help and protect her outside of donating to her...

I hate myself for loving someone who doesn't know who I am and never will.