It's really easy to fall in love with vtubers, the concept behind them after all is "Anime Waifus in Real Life", but when things get parasocial you worship and attempt to saviourfag them... and it leads to disaster. I've had two Kami-Oshis before, one I called a messiah and defended from the wumao antis with my life, only to be disappointed with her decision to join that company of treacherous whores. The other I wanted to save and did not want to see history repeat itself, but now got me banned everywhere, reduced into a lolcow, and despised by her herself. Turns out, beneath all the cutesiness and fun they are real humans, and it is in the capability of humanity to commit treachery. Unlike an anime waifu, an oshi can or will backstab you, or disappoint you.

If only I could go back to the times where I didn't have an Oshi and just watched vtubers for entertainment. But moving on is really fucking difficult.

Never have an Oshi. Or you will just suffer like I do right now.