>>32651406I would like to confess that I drink 2-4 redbulls every single day in the hopes that I leave this earth before haachama's eventual graduation.
I'm a healthy guy, I don't really have any illnesses, still in my early 20s as well, but I don't want to be alive on the day haachama graduates whether that would be tomorrow or in 10 years.
I know there are probably much better and maybe not efficient ways, bur I felt like this way meddles the least with my day to day life.
I've already made peace with that fact but I still do love myself to a certain degree and don't want it to actually shoot my face off or anything like that so I decided to slowly do it in the hopes that one day I'll have a heart attack so I can peacefully die, thankfully I live by myself so there wouldn't be any outside interference, because any sort of death is more merciful than the unimaginable sadness I'd feel from her departure as a chuuba because to be frank she's probably never coming back once she's gone, I just hope that God is merciful to me for my decision.
