>>36291838There is only very few people i care about in my life, and i hate them, i fucking hate them because i love them, because i care, because they're the only reason i don't kill myself, i'm fucked with multiple uncurable disease that make every fucking single day miserable, unable to work, unable to drive, unable to even enjoy video games, dealing with neuropathic pain that even morphine doesn't help with, and i do everything i can, diligently going to my medical appointments, hospital, going through procedures, taking a shitload of meds. but it's doing fuck all, it's just slowly getting worse and i don't see myself ever reach 30, i fucking hate them so fucking much and yet i love them, they're going to visit me for my birthday, and i will smile, pretend i'm having a good time, without ever looking at them in the eyes because they would know, they would know how much i fucking hate them.
