>>37586526Yeah I don't hold the date stream or anything that could be construed as GFE against her, especially in the beginning when none of them really knew what they were doing. I understand not wanting to have random people on the internet falling in love you by the droves, it'd weird me out, too.
As much as a I find the homos obnoxious and twitch panderers I don't hold her collabing with them against her, I figured if there was ever an EN Stars she would. Like I said for me it wasn't so much the collabs themselves (not that I would've liked or watched them) but how I felt she handled it, but the more I've thought about it the more I feel like I held her to unfair standards that myself wouldn't live up to. Admittedly I got my feelings hurt by it, people always talk about different Ame arcs, or her changing, or this or that, and I never felt that way, it was always pretty smooth sailing. Yeah okay termites, house troubles, tummy hurt, etc, it sucks but none of it bothered me the way it seemed to have bothered others. So I think when it came to me finally having an issue or a dislike and then what I interpreted as being told to effectively fuck off because of it I took it personally.
Thing is I know Ame's a good person, even just by word of mouth from what others always have to say about her. I remember not long before everything happened her talking about how she likes to talk to older people because she knows they can get lonely, and that's just one of many instances I can recall. To be embarrassingly honest here I really did let this place influence by thoughts on the whole thing. Fuck I even took part in the Ame/Regis shitposting because it was funny, but then it stopped being funny. What is funny though is I remember a several month period where I stopped frequenting awat and any Hololive related threads and my enjoyment of streams was at an all time high.
If you put this faggotry that I gayop'd myself into aside she's never done anything to filter me. Trying to hop back into things would feel awkward, plus I already unsubbed/membered and went as far as leaving a respectfully dissenting comment that did garner a lot of attention, though that probably had to do with the gold badge attached to it. Not to imply I think anyone would recognize or that she even read the comment, nothing like that, it's just like a retard stamp I put on my own forehead that only I can see. But that said I'll probably check out a stream, I don't know if she'll ever be my oshi again and I'm really not worried about that sort of thing anymore, and frankly I'm sick of hearing the word, but I miss hearing her voice and maybe I can just enjoy her streams like a normal person and not be in my head so much.
I really appreciate to engaging me on this. It's come up a couple times and it usually gets derailed or people think it's bait, which I suppose is fair. I think it's been one of those things I know in my head but I needed to hear it from someone who isn't me.
Thanks, anon.
inb4 "holy shit what a faggot" Trust me I know.
