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How do you cope with the fact that you will never be anything more than a fan to your oshi? you'll never be her close friend, her boyfriend, her acquaintance, all you'll ever be is a fan, a just another viewer in between masses of thousands of other people like you. If you were to disappear she wouldn't even notice nor would it affect her life in any meaningful way. When she graduates she'll never remember (you) as an individual person. And EVEN if you were her irl friend she would never date you, because you are a FAN. Not a single vtuber, idol, celebrity would date her fans, none. Even if they say the would they are lying to drag you in.
