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The Final Yab

No.3850838 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
I come from the future, from a time where human society as you know it no longer exists. Humanity is pretty much finished. All these dystopian fictions that the people of this time enjoy are a cruel joke compared to my reality. Even worse, I am mankind's last hope, sent back in time to change the course of history. From research on the only forum known to man in my time, Reddit, I am understanding that humanity's terminal decline had a clear origin. There was one singular event called The Final Yab that kickstarted it, an event so ginormous in it's effect that we now refer to time as BTFY and ATFY, before and after The Final Yab.
Unfortunately, the only people still alive with knowledge of the event are a tribe called Haatons who seem pretty schizo. They keep talking about HER return, how she's only taking a menhera break, how her last stream being more than a century ago is most certainly part of the arc (?) and something about wanting her to finally collab with Watame again(??). Seems retarded if you ask me, but what do I know?
Nevertheless I managed to get through to one of them who had a short moment of lucidity. Apparently, it was the year of Coexist? He kept talking a lot about cutting off heads, blonde big titty twin sisters and all kinds of weird stuff but from all his ramblings I managed to extract the information that whatever The Final Yab is, it must have happened in 2021 and that it was related to Virtual YouTubers. Whatever happened during said event sent the human trajectory downward in a way that it became unrecoverable. I am not sure if that event itself presented a big catastrophe or if it was just the first domino to fall and trigger a chain reaction, but that was enough information for me to know that I'll have to go back in time to find out the truth.

For a while, I thought I had found this so called Final Yab: Suisei saying "Hi Honey". It seemed like from this point onwards, everything was destined to get worse. Humanity’s main source of Entertainment, Companionship and Information, the YouTube, was reduced for weeks to only serving recommendations of “VTuber says Hi Honey”, or “Hi Honey Virus Infection spreads”. I could imagine that this was bad enough that it would soon lead to another world war because whoever made that first clip certainly deserves to be exterminated.

Still somehow it seems that humanity managed to recover from it. By now only around half of YouTube recommendations are “Hi Honey” related and they seem to be declining. I am now certain that we still have not witnessed the calamitous happening, that we can still prevent it and change the future.

So we still have time, but we are quickly running out. It feels like I am still at the starting point. I can barely keep track of all these Oshis existing and it seems like every day 100 new ones debut. Anon, I need your wisdom! You are a world-renowned expert on VTubers and VTuber culture so if anyone can help me to prevent the catastrophe from happening, it will be you. So please, tell me, who do you believe is the VTuber that will commit The Final Yab, what will The Final Yab be and when will it happen?

It is the only way to save humanity. Only (you) can save the future!