>>40872948>coltschizo ms paint doodlesWas only ever meant to be funny, but I stopped and apologized for those after like a week. I had a larger issue in that I felt like she was forced to interact with him by a third party in the first place, but I never really posted about that and it got resolved without issue (I think?) anyway.
>fake spergout about games or somethingIt was an actual shitpost I made after seeing a funny spergout in a random /vt/ thread, made in a place that I was under the impression she and her community didn't browse. I apologized.
>menheraposted once over feeling like I was going to oshihenSomething I think was valid to post about in a place she and most of her fans claimed to purposefully avoid browsing, and it's not like I stopped watching her anyway.
>L*mi shitpostingI don't know if anyone actually cared about this.
>complaining about her groomer managersThe thing I have not apologized for since everything I bitched about them is literally true.
>complaining about her schizo viewersI went too far in a few places, I will admit. None of them cared (I think?) but it is the one thing I do truly regret and I did apologize. They all randomly antagonized me and accused me of being a two faced schizo though, when I was already going through a lot of IRL stress, I don't think calling them mean names was justified but I also don't think it was something worth getting condemned over when I repeatedly asked for a bit of understanding and got pushed further and further.
>sending her a schizo emailThis was bad of me, I will admit. I followed it up ten minutes later apologizing and saying I was having a mental episode, which was real. I was staying with my mother, who was having serious health complications at that time and needed my help to move. I'm not going to pretend like I wasn't being weird and autistic pressing her on random things she said, but I think stressed out of my mind me deserves a little compassion when his only social refuge is filled with varyingly ironic hatred for western vtubers and western society, and my idol repeating that "An Idol is a good liar" or whatever it is quote and talking about cucking and NTR on a daily basis. It wasn't right of me to sperg out, but this was not some characteristic incident, it was a single time and the only time I ever got remotely hostile with her.
>using an alternate discord accountAnother thing that was wrong of me. Although there were several circumstances in place (the account was already on the server and was an obvious alt, and my main got banned without a single message and nobody involved responded to me until I bugged her, at which point they complained that I was bugging her). It was a bad thing to do, and I did apologize and stop doing it (I haven't been on her discord since my second account was yeeted, aside from randomly joining a month ago to see if I could hash things out and just getting immediately kicked without a word again).
I've felt bad about this for a long time, like it made me a terrible viewer who was going to make any VTuber I associated with look bad. But I really don't think anyone cared in the first place, I was just the last person who didn't pretend like he wasn't /here/ that still interacted with her, and I would've been removed for whatever reason anyway. Especially after calling out the obnoxious private groomer circle (who, let it be clear: pushed her into leaving her corpo, isolated her and played on her fears to make her leave all of her friends, pushed her to leak DM's and do other bad things, all so they could have a GFE plaything subservient to them; and that's just what one could piece together from the outside). Ultimately, she shifted in a direction (GFE content) that I didn't like, and I should've just stopped watching that content if I hated it; but I felt like I was betraying her if I didn't, so I forced myself to stomach it all. That's on me, and something I don't plan on ever repeating.
