>>5117188On the off-chance this is serious...
OP, you have to start by genuinely believing that the person you're watching on streams etc. is *not* your friend, and if you're attracted to them, they'll never date you, and likely you'll never even speak to them outside of maybe a packed convention hall.
Everything else is bullshit until you accept that fact. They are NOT your friend.
They've presented themselves as a friendly person (perhaps even a sexy person) so you will give them money.
Once you accept that, you can move on and everything will be fine. But you NEED to accept that first.
