>>53159545That's tough. If you have a lot of self-control, you can force yourself to give up those feelings right now. Skipping content and taking a break from her helps a lot with that. But in my experience, once someone is under the spell, they like to stay even if they know it's wrong.
You can have all sorts of feelings towards your oshi, but if she's not comfortable with excessive parasocial bonds, it's better to not burden her with your feelings and putting respect on her stances. Blending in with the other fans is the name of the game, act like a fan she's comfortable with and doesn't make her nervous in a bad way.
Also, what type of feelings do you have? If it's mainly lust, you can commission artists to draw erotic content about her, or if you can afford it, making a cosplay and having a prostitute wearing it while you do the deed. It's expensive, but not unheard of and at that price category they can be trusted to keep secrets. Alternate aliases are your friend so ycommissions can't easily be traced back to you and creep her out by chance. If it's romantic, that's decidedly tougher, but still not impossible. Try to channel those feelings into something creative or start working out if you aren't already doing those, and do them for her, but if others don't talk about those sorts of things publicly, you shouldn't either.
And most importantly: Don't let your social life deteoriate because of her. If you have a meetup with friends and a stream at the same time, you can just watch the VoD afterwards. Being active in her community is also an option, making new friends there (you know how to act normal, don't you?). Ideally you could even find a relationship and prioritize your partner over her, eventually ridding yourself of your current feelings and going back to purely appreciating her as a content creator.
