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I had one of those one on one fan meetings at a convention with IRyS once and she threatened to suck my dick to death. I asked her if she meant her death, my dick's death, or my death and she just made a long slurping noise at me. After the convention I got back to my hotel room and saw someone had tried forcing their way into my room. I went to the front desk and they set me up with a new room. It took me a while to get to sleep but just as I was falling asleep I could hear a muffled Caesura of Despair coming from the balcony. Before I could react something crashed through the window and I ran out of the room, down to the parking garage, and drove all the way home without stopping. I still occasionally get restricted number phone calls, when I pick up all I can hear is mechanical keyboard clacking and what sounds like someone stirring macaroni with a battery powered toothbrush.
