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Dropped oshi of two years recently. She was a promising singer and singing was a staple of her content. She also streamed at set times for a set amount of hours, which made it easy for me to plan my day around her slots. I watched her religiously, bought all her merch, donated regularly to encourage her. Apart from the occasional small bit or sub gift from randoms, me and perhaps four other viewers were the primary source of donation income for her, ensuring that her weekly donation goals are met and spend big during events like anniversary, birthday or subathon. Overall I spent ~3k USD to support her during that time. I shouldn't have done the math, oh god what the fuck. You might think this amount is miniscule but I only make 3k a month before tax and I live in the most expensive city this side of the planet, due to work. More than half my income is just rent, and I already live in a tiny studio with single glazing.
Recently, she started changing her slot and would keep the streams more open-ended, which meant if I wanted to watch from start to finish, I'd have to sacrifice sleep or be more flexible with scheduling other stuff. One appeal gone.
She also heavily reduced the amount of singing she does on stream, or sings the same songs again and again, not learning much new stuff in between like she used to. She also retired a format that was a guarantee for several new songs every month. That's not necessarily another appeal gone, but greatly diminished.
She had a reputation for being based and trad, which meant I could enjoy her streams without current events outrage bullshit, she just wouldn't engage with it, and if it came up in a collab or from chat, she had reasonable takes at all times. Then, she had a very recent moment where she claimed that a certain website doesn't publish false information, think one of these fact-checking bullshit vendors, which really surprised me.
You might think this is silly, but I was also drawn in by childhood stories about her liking the same flavour of sci fi I enjoyed when I was a child. Her and I were born about 4 years apart and raised in roughly the same geographical area, which made it all very relatable. I warmed up to her specifically because of a story she told about that sci fi content and her dad, which made me become an active chatter in the first place. Recently, she shat all over that memory and childhood story, which made it evident that she had either not watched that episode or completely failed to understand the deeper plot points and morals of it. THEN she added that she disliked the character because of the actor that portraits it, which is a woke bullshit take on the same level as JK Rowling/Hogwarts Legacy twitter outrage. I am talking about a show from the 60s btw.
The sum of the above made me move on, it was just too jarring and a departure from what made her appeal to me in the first place. I watch a lot of chuubas and don't have loyalty to any group or brand, I just tune in to the content that is appealing to me when I see it. A new oshi is probably going to reveal herself with time, and I probably wouldn't be in this position if I had done my reps, but kanji mindbroke me a little.
