I feel like since watching Vtuber I've become a weakling, whiny, coward individual. I became a person who can't live without oshi, I will be jealous if my oshi is close to other men and afraid will be got betrayed like NTR scenario, I will compete for stupid things from comparing CCV & donation amounts to cheapy things such as when my oshi loses or wins in a game collaboration stream with other talents, I will easily masturbate in a day I can do it more than 3 times, I always need fanservice of affection, cuteness, and being pampered by my oshi, I watch various vtuber streams for more than 12 hours, I always fomo; checking notifications, agency official pages, discord servers, fomo looking for overseas complimentary comments to my oshi probably because I need validation, etc, I like to get angry and easily provoked by vtuber drama mostly because of stupid things, I always fantasize that I will marry my oshi IRL, I always join nonsense discussions and debates about Vtuber looking for validation with random people on the internet.
*I'm not unemployed btw, so money or employment status doesn't matter at all (in fact, my income is acutally to be far above the minimum wage). I watch Vtuber while working in the background, but when I finishes my work I will immediately dive into the fomo puddle of the vtuber world.
I wondered, if I were to dream of meeting & marrying my oshi IRL, if I were to have the fortunate opportunity to meet her IRL but in the state of mind & mentality described above, how would she look at me? I'm not sure that most women would consider that to be the image of an ideal man.
Should I take a hiatus from watching Vtuber?
