>>5963097If I suspect a vtuber has a boyfriend or dates/has dated while a vtuber, I get really jealous and unfollow/stop watching her.
I don’t blame them for dating or having a life outside vtubing, I just get legitimately upset and choose to remove myself from the situation. I don’t like being this way but don’t know how to stop. If I had a girlfriend irl I might feel differently idk. I know i’m a severe unironic autist beta male who’d never have a chance with them anyway, I guess I feel like they’re supposed to be like me because they like anime and games, so them seeming like virgins helps me feel like I can be at ease with them because “we’re the same” so to speak, and so when that illusion is broken and I realize we aren’t the same I feel hurt and lose interest (and get angry, and feel sick in my stomach, and feel like crying etc). When Connor was hitting up HoloIN I don’t even watch them and it bothered me because i wished I could be like him.
Also i actually fear that the vtubers i like would see me as disgusting or a loser and beneath other men (like the ones they date), and the thought that they would (and part of me knows deep down they would) crushes me.
