>>63125719For me? Yes. I have spent housands upon thousands of dollars and have traveled to cons, spending an ungodly amount of money just to talk to my oshi for one minute. Let's not talk about the superchats, either... If I stop superchatting, my brain tells me she'll miss me.
Every morning, I think of her. Every night, I think of her. When I do anything at all, I think of her. When I'm out with family(no friends), I wish I were with her instead. Any beautiful sight I see in the world feels bitter because she's no next to me. I spend hours on her twitter waiting for her to tweet or like something.
I'm a husk of a man who doesn't exist in reality anymore. There is no colour in my life anymore. I'm falling deeper and deeper into a black maw with no hope of escape.