>>68612192>Tell us!Nope. You stay away from her. Plus it'd 100% give away who I am since I mod for her.
>The fuck can I do here if I genuinely just want things to get better for them, and yes, for me too?You can't help people who don't want to be helped or who really don't want to discuss issues. The treatment is therapy and meds. It's not the answer you want, but that's just how it is. BPD is a bitch of an illness to deal with especially for people who refuse to be self-aware about it. I'm personally very aware because I've seriously fucked up my entire life because of it (no friends, no family, fucked up every relationship I ever had) and can tell when I'm getting too menhera and I lock myself out of my socials so I can't access my oshi.
If you have been favourite person'd by someone with BPD the best thing you can do is just tell them you love them unconditionally, that they don't need to do anything to earn your love and even if they're not around you still love, you won't forget them. Importantly, you need to check up on them, ask them how they're feeling and tell them how you feel about them regularly. BPD folk need a fucking metric ton of reassurance that they're not upsetting you or doing the wrong thing. But very strictly you need to establish boundaries for yourself and them because as their favourite person, they will try to monopolise every second of your time and get insanely jealous when you won't comply with what they want you to do because they interpret it as a rejection. They won't want you talking to others, they want to stalk you, they want to keep tabs on you, they will message you in the middle of the night and if you don't reply you're in for hell. My oshi understand my illness pretty well and she's told me very bluntly that if she doesn't want to talk to me, she just won't reply until she is ready to no matter how much I message her.
Also be ready for really weird things getting said to you but understand they're all meant in positive and affectionate ways. I recently had a menhera episode and I admitted to my oshi that I physically wanted to eat parts of her body so I could just be close to her and I would feel really special if she would let me do that. She just said she understood why I felt that way but that she couldn't reciprocate those feeling but she doesn't judge me for having them.
It's a very draining and nearly extractive relationship but if you like the person, it can come with a lot of rewards since I'm happily on call 24/7 to talk to her whenever she wants, I shower her in praise regularly, I listen to her issues, I'm always there to reassure her she's doing a great job and I take a lot of interest in caring for her as a person.
