I have watched my oshi for more than a year but it wasn’t until recently that intense feelings for her began to develop in my heart and loins. I thought it would go away with time but the reality that I’ll never be with her began to set in and derailed my life a bit. I asked to use my vacation time at work to lay in bed for a few weeks and I stopped going to my night classes. I stopped showering and brushing my teeth. I stopped picking up when my Mom called. And most importantly I stopped watching my oshi because of the pain I would feel when I would see her and hear her voice. I mustered up the will to go back to work but it’s not the same. My life lacks colour and purpose now, and it’s all because I got too attached to my oshi.