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There is a point in every /vt/ard's life where they become deeply infatuated with someone or something. As a result of said infatuation, you can become emotionally invested with and feel connected to the "object" of your infatuation.
It's bad enough being a weeb who desires and is attracted to an anime character, it's even worse when said character can interact with and respond to you. This interaction can deepen your dark ideas and pit of infatuation. As a result, you desire nothing more than to be with the "object" regardless of flaws or insecurities.
Anon, I would highly encourage you to speak about this with either a VERY good licensed therapist, or someone you can trust and speak with with no fear of judgement. By speaking with that person, I hope you can find outlets for your infatuation such as fitness, art, or even cleaning your room. I hope you get better, godspeed Anon.