>>76769471I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for me as an autistic loser.
It does make me happy, but it's sort of like cigarettes, in my opinion. When you smoke for the first month or so, it calms you down and de-stresses you and genuienly makes you feel incredible. It's great. But over time, not smoking is the cause of your stress, and smoking just makes you feel OK at best. It makes you feel baseline for a little bit. Every moment, not smoking becomes insufferable.
At first, when you watch your oshi, she becomes the highlight of your day and an endless source of inspiration. She makes you happy and helps you wind down after a hard day. She adds to your life and makes you want to do better. Eventually, it gets to the point where you're no longer happy without her. Any time she isn't streaming becomes suffering. You end up staring at her Twitter, likes waiting for activity. You hang on every single tweet and message. Breaks from streaming make you depressed and when she comes back, the world around you disaplover.
You want to escape, but will feel bad if you go without her for a while.
"what if she knows I leave and feels bad about it?"
"I don't want her to hate me..."
"I don't want her to think I hate her..."
Ultimately she doesn't know you, but that doesn't matter because the brain of an autistic loser wizard will do anything to convince you to stay, because without her you feel horrible.
