>>7828250Your post struck me at a very vulnerable moment, OP, and got me thinking about my life and how I ended up here on this very board. The first album I ever bought with my own money was Megadeth's Countdown to Extinction. Now, of course I told myself it was about how skilled they were at playing their instruments and how Dave Mustaine's voice totally fit the songs and he had excellent snarls whatever else he might be lacking. But at the time I was the kind of wiry-armed nerdy kid just a peg above the bullied kids, and of all the genres in the world I chose to listen to heavy metal. Of course it wasn't about the music.
I just really wanted to buy Dave Mustaine some condoms.
As I grew up and made some actual friends for a change, I started to listen to music more widely. I'd tell myself that I just didn't care all that much about classical the – in hindsight – smug and self-masturbatory music major recommended me because I don't care that much about violins as an instrument. And I'd tell myself that the Beatles, recommended to me by a cute girl, were a genuinely innovative band that was interesting even on a theoretical level. I don't need to tell you what a load of bull that was. What really mattered was that all those classical composers were dead and buried long before condoms were even invented whereas Paul McCartney was still alive and donning more condoms daily than I'd ever see in my life. When I began watching anime, of course it wasn't the riffs on the opening themes or the carefulness with which every single hook kicked in at exactly 0:30 that attracted me. I didn't truly find the voice actors and their training impressive, it was not why I got so into Aya Hirano.
So when I ran across a bunch of girls hiding behind anime avatars and doing covers of popular Japanese songs in between playing video games and acting cute, of course it wasn't going to be about the music. I might tell to myself that I'm just a sucker for power and Suisei Hoshimachi has that in spades and that whatever she might be lacking, she is still growing as a singer and it will be fun to follow that journey through almost weekly karaokes. But it was never going to be about that. What it was about, what truly attracted me to these vtubers, were the young women behind the avatars, going about their daily in the kind of wanton licentiousness only anonymity can allow.
So, I'm probably going to be buying more songs and send more superchats, just a touch more self aware now. And when the corona restrictions lift, I'm no doubt going to schedule a vacation and buy tickets to Suisie's concert. And while at it, I think I'm going to check out what Marty Friedman is doing these days, for old times' sake. Old condoms' sake.
