>>82881781Fuck yeah, I've been waiting for this!
I like the worldbuilding you've incorporated so far, it's easy to follow and operates how you might expect in a fantasy world with a business for adventuring.
I really liked your explanation of how training magic is like training your muscles, I love that kinda shit. I also enjoyed the established heavy hitters of the world, and your use of different chuubas overall is nice.
Your detail for subtle parts of the environment that help build the rest of it for you is nice, although I would be mindful of what effects of your magic can have on it, such as a fireball streaking across the air and casting large shadows over some of the walls, that kinda thing makes the scene a little more imposing and colorful.
The action itself has some punch to it, you have the flow of the martial movements in mind, so I'm looking forward to when things get a little more technical to see what you can really do.
I'm honestly not sure how I feel about the sequence of events in the chapter. After I finished, I got most of what I was looking for at the start; the dungeon delving, so I'm trying to decide if it would be better to just go from there without the springing time forward inbetween to go go with the slice of life aspect of the academy and Shion's and Anon's relationship. Maybe it will come together more fluidly with Vol 2. I liked your depiction of daily academy life at a high level and the different disciplines involved. I hope to see some of those in a little more detail later.
Just a few minor proofread catches below
Kobold rips the flasks off of his and hurls - you might have meant to include what part of his gear it was from. S-n-S Academy’s goal is to cultivate the next generation of adventures - could be adventurers, but that's just an assumption since you can technically say what is there and have it be true, even if it's a little awkward sounding. Overall I really like what you got cooking! Keep flexing those muscles and I can see this getting really fun.
