>>83312120When I first saw the character tags and read the synopsis I honestly rolled my eyes because this seemed like just another EN-only Amelia detective story with “Ina/Gura now turn bad”. We have too many of those in the archive.
So you can imagine my surprise and delight when this actually went kinda hard. Your prose is magnificent and you were able to build up the characters really well as I slowly pieced things together.
The only two things I didn’t like as I was reading was the fact that you, for whatever reason, decided to make them streamers. I’ve never really understood why people do this when it adds nothing to the story and just seems incredibly goofy in an otherwise serious work. Like, you could’ve had Cover be a company dedicated solely to housing powerful/unique beings or a company that hires people to specially deal with such beings. But instead it’s some weird combination of those two, and these godly, all-powerful beings and weapon-wielding soldiers are also… being hired as streamers? What? I get that’s what they originally are irl but you did not need to include that for this story where it’s one or two throwaway lines.
The second thing was that I found the dialogue between Kronii and Amelia tended to meander around and kind of repeat the same thing but word it differently without making much progress. These two things are just nitpicks though, they didn’t bring down my opinion of the story much at all. What did however, was the ending.
As I was reading through this I was nodding and really enjoying the meal. I was thinking that this could become my favourite non self-insert fic I’ve read here because it was honestly really great.
I especially loved when Mumei jumped in and executed the two girls because she didn’t trust Kronii. I was like, “yeahhh! Go Mumeiiii!” and loved how she spread her wings of timepieces. And then… she became thirsty for God? Considering the fact that Mumei didn’t get any screen time it didn’t make sense for her to be the focus of the ending. Like, you spent such a long time masterfully crafting the relationship between Kronii, Amelia and Ina by dropping hints about their story, but instead of the ending focusing on a culmination of that (like Kronii going berserk because her friends are dead, or maybe Kronii meeting with God instead), you shoehorn this interaction between Mumei, who we know nothing about, and God, who says some vague stuff about saving them. Mumei’s desperation for God and how happy she feels after meeting him feels so random and meaningless because it wastes everything you built up beforehand. I guess you were trying to be unique and poetic but you could have done that with one of the characters we got to know, not the random who jumped in right at the end and killed everyone. What should have been the focus of the ending (the Kronii/Amelia/Ina relationship) ended up being a weird schizo moment between two characters we know nothing about (Mumei thirsting after God). While it didn’t ruin the whole fic for me, it definitely put a damper on things. 
