>>86933951>Be a Japanese bureaucrat at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs>Enjoying the fact that you only have a short 15 hour shift of denying visa and residency applications today>Golden Week is fast approaching and you're looking forward to doing nothing but watching shitty food culture shows on NHK for a week straight, the height of Japanese culture>Suddenly, your assistant enters>"Y-Yamaguchi-san, the next applicant will see you now...">She seems nervous? Well she is 27 and unmarried, she's basically worthless to society, no wonder.>Suddenly, you hear hulking footsteps approaching your office... have your pachinko debts finally caught up with you?>The door bursts open, and a truly massive woman bends under the door frame, having to keep herself hunched over to not scrape the top of her head on the ceiling>Good lord, she must be over 5 feet tall...>Stricken with fear, you can barely move as she opens her mouth, the sound resonating from within so deep you can scarce believe it came from a woman, let alone a human being>"U-Uh yeah, ya boi came to get all her residency jazz sorted out... ha ha..."I fucking hate this woman.
>Be a Japanese businessman running late for a morning meeting>Rushing down the street when suddenly a massive woman steps out of a hotel as you pass it by>The only unit of measurement you know is tatami mats, and she must be at least 4 tatami mats tall>But before you have time to gawk at her giantesque appearance, her booming voice sends a chill running down your spine>"HELL YEAH MY DUDE, YOU'RE THE CUTEST SHARK I KNOW">You have no idea what she's saying, but you're certain she's communicating with some sort of foreign gang that she runs>Fight or flight responses kick in and you start to run>As you sprint away, a resounding "PEACE" booms out from behind you, and you realize that your little legs could never out run her mountain straddling gait>She only let you momentarily escape because she enjoys the thrill of the hunt, and even if she never encounters you again, she knows she will forever live in your nightmares and every waking thoughtI fucking hate this woman.
>Be a Japanese inconvenience store worker>Getting ready to close up shop just after midnight>After the 2 hour train ride home, you may actually get 3 hours of sleep before your next shift (twice as much as last night)>Suddenly, you hear a quiet thumping that quickly gets louder and louder, soon so deafening it completely drowns out the entry chime as a towering figure stoops under the awning and squeezes between the automatic doors>Quaking and rooted to the spot, you're helpless before this force of nature as it looms ever closer. It's impossible to make out any discerning features beneath its baggy clothes apart from those wide, piercing eyes, set above a black face mask that must be concealing a gaping maw that could swallow you whole>And yet, despite the fact that it goes against all the known laws of the universe, something deep in your reptilian brain tells you that the monster before you is, in fact, a woman>"HEY MY DUDE, COULD I GET SOME GOLDFISH SNACKS AND AN ONEEGEEREE?">Your fight or flight responses immediately kick in, and despite not having any idea what she just said, you know that unless you offer the beast a diversion, you'll find yourself in its belly.>You grab a cold tuna onigiri from the warmer and offer it up as sacrifice whilst not daring to look her in the eye, hoping to sate its hunger long enough to give you an opportunity to escape>"AWW, F-WORD, ALL OUT OF GOLDFISH SNACKS? DON'T SWEAT IT MY DUDE, I'LL DROP BY SOME OTHER TIME">And then, after leaving a smattering of coins on the counter (no doubt taken from some previous unfortunate victim), she leaves just as soon as she came>But, somewhere deep down, you know that this will not be the last time you stare death in the faceI fucking hate this woman
>Be a Japanese pizza parlour worker>Spent a full day smearing mayonnaise all over shrimp pizza, just like they make back in Italy (you assume so, anyway)>The whole restaurant is full to bursting, all 3 tables are completely occupied>Suddenly a gargantuan woman stomps through the restaurant up to the counter, each thud making the state of the art gourmet microwave pizza oven behind you quiver on its shelf>"YO MY DOG, CAN I GET A TABLE AND A FRESH SLICE OF ZA?">You attempt to tell her that there are no spots available>She bursts into tears on the spot, the waterworks are so strong it knocks over the two fax machines on the counter which shatter on the floorI fucking hate this woman
THANKS FOR REMINDING ME THE SUREFIRE WAY TO FIND THEM IN THE ARCHIVE!
