Quoted By:
I may write a poem about this later, but I have to talk about it. After recovering from yesterday and getting back in the groove of things, I had this image pop up in my mind (pic not related):
Taffy was holding my hand and guiding me through the night. She was walking in front of me, pulling my hand and leading the way, but I was the one carrying the torch for the light. She didn't need the light as much as I did, because she was a cat that had a strong sense of smell and sharp eyes made for the night.
She would look back at me from time to time, with these somewhat wide eyes, but I could never tell the full expression on her face, as she kinda kept it hidden. Was she looking back to make sure I was okay? Was she just very focused and preoccupied on guiding us both?
I felt like she had her own motive for being there to guide me, which was as important as myself having my own for going through this dark passage in the night. I needed her eyes and sense of smell, while she needed... something from me. My presence? Something of value I carried? As much as I'd like to say it was for my riches, I never felt any malicious or nefarious intent from her. I don't know what it was, but somehow I was carrying it with me... this "thing" that may or may not be physical.
If she wanted to, she could just run off into the darkness of the night, and leave me there to guide myself through. I could still do it with my torch, but I'm sure she'd just come back with something or she'd do it to try to surprise me by shoving me from behind (playful little cat, she is). I felt that she would do that.
Sometimes her pace was quick, and I fumble over my own footsteps as she drags me. Sometimes we'd walk side by side, when it felt like the road was very predictable. Sometimes my pace was quicker, although I couldn't say I was the best at navigating the winding roads, so there was some stumbling.
I feel a little lost but... I feel comfortable with her. I felt like she's guided me through some rough parts. It's almost a little scary being at the mercy of her, sometimes. Maybe it's the strawberry scent that drives me nuts. I almost feel like I'm smelling it everywhere (in the imagery, not irl). I just don't know what she wants... and it makes me a little anxious with each passing moment. Maybe she won't tell me just yet. Maybe I'll have to wait. It's okay if she has her own motives and desires, I welcome it. I encourage and help it.
That's it from me tonight.. I'm gonna crash and maybe come back at 3 AM to bump. Good night.
