I fell in love with a chuuba (2-view). I interacted with her in her DMs and her Discord. I sent her money, bought her stuff from her throne, and confided in her with personal stuff. I felt like the love she returned was something I lacked in my life, probably since I was a kid. I grew attached to her, and put her up on a pedestal, to an unhealthy degree. I thought of her when times were really rough and when she wasn't there to stream or talk to in order to cope with my depression.
Now I'm considering limiting my interaction with her altogether for my own mental wellness. I'm getting too anxious around her now and anticipating when she's gonna tweet or make her next stream. I've had to look into things like attachment theory and limerence to see what my underlying issues could be (I probably was traumatized since I was a kid). I don't want to see her like this anymore. I know that she's a different person from who she is on stream and the fantasy version of her on my mind don't align. I don't think she even sees me more than just a glorified viewer. She has way more richer paypigs that know her for longer, but I also don't want to psyche myself out from her actions and think that she's doing all these things for me. I'm gonna go touch grasstake a break from her for a couple weeks. This is the only solution I have.
I'm thankful this hasn't ruined my regular work schedule or interfered with it too much, but I know it could be a lot worse, so it's best to do it now.
