He was the greatest soldier in the world and was going to get married to his fiance, but she was assassinated and took a bullet meant for him so he went rogue and used his strongest most biggest penis energy to steal the government secrets and do all the hacking and he has a magic shield which kills everyone and can cure cancer(but this didn't work?) and can see dead people and subsist on cans of tuna and steal any car and he has contacts within the government who were probably double agents because they were going to help him set off an EMP and mega anthrax over las vegas and other cities across the world but because his ghost fiancee who he keeps in a skeleton inside a sleepingbag told him not to do it he cancelled his attack and warned the CIA, FBI, secret intelligence and senator and broke all his laptops and the ghost of himself as a child forgave him for doing the bad things and his ghost fiancee is fine with that and he still probably keeps her skeleton in the sleeping bag in the car.
