>>99462260"COMING SOON TO DISNEY DVD AND VHS!"
(Cue triumphant fanfare, followed by a deep, overly dramatic announcer voice—think '90s Disney Channel commercial meets corporate dystopia.)
ANNOUNCER:
"From the magical vaults of Disney, prepare for the most kawaii collaboration in history! WALT DISNEY PRESENTS… HOLOLIVE: MAGICAL MOUSE GENERATION! Streaming? No! Subscription services? Never! Experience it the way Michael Eisner intended—on VHS!
Witness as Mickey Mouse (voiced by Chris Pratt) leads the Hololive Talent on an epic quest to save anime… from THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN! Halle Berry becomes Houshou Marine in a swashbuckling performance that’ll make you say "SHUKOU!"
When Thanos (played by Danny DeVito, Brolin said no, pls undastand) threatens to snap away all VTuber merch, Gawr Gura (now a Jedi Force Ghost, played by The Rock) teams up with Baby Yoda to dunk on evil with the power of "a!"
Inugami Korone’s voice is now provided by Gilbert Gottfried (archive footage), and Pekora (played by Mads Mikkelsen) is reimagined as a gritty antihero in PEKORA: WAR CRIMES BEGINS. Directed by Michael Bay
And don’t miss the exclusive post-credits scene where Walt Disney’s frozen head challenges Tokino Sora (Glenn Close) to a dance-off for ownership of the HOLOVERSE!
AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! Because legally, we have to say that. NO STREAMING. NO REFUNDS. PURE DISNEY MAGIC™. Pre-order now on Betamax and receive a free NFT of Mickey Mouse doing the BIBBIDIBA!
DISNEY’S HOLOLIVE: MAGICAL MOUSE GENERATION
Coming soon… to a CRT near you!
(Cut to black. Distorted Mickey laugh. End on the Disney logo… but it’s just a PNG of ogeyrrat wearing Mickey ears.)
Bonus Tone-Deaf Features:
>"Marine’s Pirate Booty" Now a DLC loot box system!* >"Suisei’s Axe" Sponsored by Home Depot!>"Kizuna AI Cameo" She’s a Siri voice now. >"All songs performed by Imagine Dragons." 
