>>99738946I've been thinking about that. And you're right. But I think the roots of the imposter syndrome were still there. They just never really manifested until 2023 & 2024.
Lets consider the start. Gura had a meteoric rise to fame, one million subs in a month. Okay, fine. But Gura was still active in 2020 & 2021 despite the sudden fame. Thing was, that was during COVID. With most people stuck at home and having to wear a mask wherever you go in public, Myth had spent most of their duties at home. Also, and being mostly overseas, Myth were not able to travel to Japan for at least two years. (this is important) During these first two years, Gura could manage the pressure. After all, she was stuck at home like everybody else, and she was basically continuing what she was doing as Senzawa but more regularly and under an official corpo.
But yes, Gura DID want the idol ambition:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iFKngh3lH02022 is an important year. People say that its when Gura started feeling burnout. But I think its a lot more complicated then that. Remember, 2022 had no new debuting EN gen. More emphasis was placed on the Holostars, as well as a push for mixed collabs. From what I understand, the management saw the success of Nijisanji's Luxiem, and wanted to replicate it. Its likely Gura objected to it, which is the "disagreements with management". But the burnout was there. The imposter syndrome was playing on her, and it lingered even when she tried to get back to streaming.
Because, and if you've noticed, 2022 was also when she had her first Holofes performance. Prior to that, she was hyped for the chance to perform live on stage. Then she actually did so, and she had a whiplash. Performing live, doing all the dances before a live audience was not the same as something done in VRchat.
It could be a mix of these disagreements with management, as well as the creeping imposter syndrome that made Gura decide, "I want out". But thing is, Gura can't get out. She's too important to Cover, and Cover knows this. So they let her take as many breaks as she needs.
The 2023 comes in. And with it, Advent. Gura now experiences an incoming gen that not only were starting from the bottom but were literally grinding to get to where they wanted. Gura, who managed to reach subs within a month actually feels a pressure. She had always been seen as "the gamer loli who likes to chill at home". Then Biboo comes along, whose also a gamer loli. So she tests herself. Tries to do the same marathon streams that Biboo does. But Biboo wants to be an endurance gamer like Kaela, and her CCV does challenge Gura, She's not sure how to process this.
Its a complicated thing because Gura is now facing incoming idols who are actively trying to be an equal to her, and she is also being forced to do more events that has eyes on her. Where she has to be the brand image. The aquarium in Taiwan. The Dodgers Collab. The 1st and 2nd EN concerts. The New Year celebrations. Holosummer. And so on. She tries to mitigate this by taking big breaks in between each event. But its not enough. And worse, her projects don't go through. A schoolgirl ASMR to go with the schoolgirl outfit she got in 23? Cancelled. An event with Pekora and Kobo in 2023? Cancelled And it goes on and on.
Then, in mid 2024, Fauna and Mumei have an idea. Mumei's friend, Dokibird, was unjustly terminated by Nijisanji. However, Doki and Pomu managed to succeed as indies. Seeing this, and having suffered a project setback (Not a phase), they decide "Why don't we all quit? Join us, Gura" And Gura seriously considers it.
Cover panics. "How the fuck do we prevent this?" Ame is also feeling it, but she suggests a workaround. Affiliate. If the workaround works, Gura can still be Cover's mascot, and yet, have all the freedom she wants.
And then something fucks up in '25. Maybe its Mumei's health catching up to her. Or the fact that it was increasingly difficult to mask that Gura was being skinwalked. After a point, Gura decided "its enough"
And thats where we are now.
Yeah yeah, this is all a schizo rambling based on the little we know, but its the best I can extrapolate.