>>1552874Lots of things I'm pointing out, because It looks sloppy, even in the original art.
Remember people: YOU CAN FIX THINGS THAT ARE WONKY IN ORIGINAL ART. Remember that these people have very limited time to be precise, because they are under deadlines.
That said, the line consistncy is all over the place - pick a thickness for a type, and stay with it. Hair should all be one thickness, and skin another, etc. etc. The main reason I am pointing out this, is because the ends and the termination points with other hair especially looks off because they go from thickness to thickness and it makes the whole "too busy"
Now, the things in the eye are pointed out flaws, btu the biggest one is the eye shine tapering to a point. Make it more oval and smooth.
Overall, your technique is fine; however the refinement needs a bit more work. Take a little bit more time, and match your beziers, make things line up right, and it'll look volumes better.