>>2071854Well, there has been improvement, gotta give you credit for that.
IMO the biggest problems lie in the head. Call me old fashioned, but the first thing I notice is the head and face of a character, then the body.
I can see you did try to improve upon the original, however there was still more you could have improved on. I can only comment on the head/face for now since that's what I recreated to highlight a few of the mistakes/problems I noticed. Refer to my image with your errors highlighted and my version for reference on how I did it.
1. This area could have been made as one continuous line to flow more naturally.
2. This line looks funky and crooked.
3. Line thickness consistency problems. I feel like you started way too thin here and got too thick towards the tip of the hair. Between 4 and 5 there is a line with similar consistency problems.
4. This one is general for the majority of the bangs: they're way too straight. There is a slight curve in your vector, but it's so slight that the lines almost look straight. Giving them a bit more curve would have made it look more natural.
5. Similar to #1. Could have been made as one continuous line.
6. Similar to #2.
7. I can see you were trying to follow the flow of the hair, however you followed the wrong path :P
8. Seems like you didn't notice the strand of hair here, instead you took it to be part of the face.
9. I honestly don't know why you went with that mouth... Doesn't really fit Kyouko's character...
Another tip with anime mouths in general is to leave the gap at the bottom. It gives it a nice subtle touch.
10. The nose lacks character.... a simple ellipse does not a nose make. I believe in the Inkscape tutorial it's mentioned to make a bean like shape, which is what I normally use.
Although it's not highlighted, the last mayor problem area, like the other anon pointed out, is the eyes... (continued in my next reply)
