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This is what happens when I try to get things done too fast... But I tried fixing most of what was pointed out. The highlight on the ball was stuck under another color in the layer, so I moved it up. Added the missing shadows to the clips. The shadows in the middle of the chest just looked like extraneous lines to me, but I added them in anyway. Moved the eye highlight above the outline, and leveled the eyes.
As far as the colored lines, to me it looks like all the lines are the same grayish color and the apparent difference in color is due to line thickness from whatever medium the original used. Looking at the lines for the neck, they're the same color as the dress and the same color as the chin. I figured the chin and dress are the same color by transitivity. That being said, I can do a version with lighter lines for the hair and dress if you guys want.
