>>1964475Overall, you need to pay attention to the minute details more. Most of what you came up with is too simplified compared to the original. Best example, the eyes. Could be either laziness or inexperience, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say the later since it's a pretty complex image for shading.
Lineart is way too thick also. It needs to be more precise/thinner.
As for her clothing, I'd use meshes instead of solid shapes. In fact, I'd probably do so for almost all the shading on the image. It might be hard to tell since the image is pretty blurry but you missed a lot of details on the shading in general.
I'll attach an example with the ai file to show what I mean with the eyes and how I do meshes. I won't show you how I'd do the whole dress because it'd take too long but if you have any part more precisely that you need help with, I'll be happy to assist. Hope this helps.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/0wpqgdoevge9qbx/rinfix.ai?dl=0 