>>1601993It's pretty good all in all. The eyes are fine, though they might benefit from a bit less blur on the highlights.
The biggest problem is her hair decorations. When you do shapes like that, the lines for curves should be intact (marked in red). So like on the inside edge of the loop, that entire curve should be all one line, rather than having an angle at the top where two lines meet. Additionally, the rest of the lines (marked in blue) need to be fairly strongly curved at the top, where they disappear out of sight, in order to really convey the impression of a round object. And all those lines would be better as shapes, so that you can make them thicker where they're closest to the viewer, then thinner as they curve out of sight.
Other than that, there are line thickness issues all over, but nothing crippling. You want some variation, but it should make sense for perspective and texture. Look through her hair and find the lines that are noticeably thinner or thicker than the rest, then check to see if they're parts of her hair that are closer or further from the viewer and make sure that matches up. And try to keep the variation sort of consistent - a line a particular distance from the viewer needs to be basically the same width as a line the same distance from the viewer in a different place. And the range needs to make sense as well - even if a line is supposed to be thicker, if it's too much thicker it looks off. The basic trick - zoom out far enough that you can see the whole piece and just sort of let your eyes relax and look at the whole thing, rather than focusing on one part of it. Things will draw your attention. Those are generally the things that need to be dealt with.
