>>8078562>All in all, i both want and don't want people in my life.I feel you, anon. Like you wouldn't know, this resonated with me. I'm coming off an almost 20 year relationship (last 7 married, last 4 or so of the marriage... basically only married on paper) and there are days I wish I knew what to do with myself.
My brain makes contingency plan after contingency plan, and contingencies for contingencies. I hate it, but they're not terribly detailed (more like rough ideas), so they're not bad.
She found someone else, met and fell, and then told me she wanted out. I won't go more into it beyond saying that if it hadn't been for the time required away for my work (which paid for everything), this *might* not have come about.
Whats done is done, and she's at least not being ridiculous in the proceedings. There's no kids, alimony, or anything else (just a Dissolution), but it's still the end of something I've been [could have done better] working on for fourteen-fucking-years. I'm pissed, hurt, and relieved all at once and that's not a fun cocktail.
I've got someone claiming she's interested, but there's too many red flags to continue, and I'll be damned if I'll sit around and wait on someone else while hearing excuses. I'm not anyone's back-up plan.
I'm going home. I'm unplugging, joining a gym, and I'm disappearing for a little while. It's time to find myself again, and I couldn't recommend it enough to anyone else going through something similar. Even if home is a cheap trailer in a park somewhere, get to your own space and do your own thing.
