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Today was ok. I still feel like shit.
I graduated a year ago and had been looking for work ever since then. Started smoking weed home on the regular.
I started getting anxiety 2 months ago. I finally got a full-time job. Went to the doctor and he said it's probably about the weed so I'm stopping it and taking Xanax to manage the anxiety. He said I'd be feeling anxious for about 2 months. It's been 2 weeks now and the meds really help.
I thought all my problems would go away now I have a job and a cure for this anxiety thing.
First week of work was both exhausting and great. I work with little kids and teach them about science. I kinda love it. This first weekend was like getting my head out of the water though. I dunno if I'll get used to this rhythm or not but... I've been missing long distance travel for a while now. Last time was 10 months ago and I really crave it.
I really want to fucking disappear off to New Zealand, Chile or something. I need the money from this job and I like it, but I feel like I'm locking myself in the cage I've been in for a year and this job is just like swallowing the key.
