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Fuck where do I begin. Been dealing with bipolar disorder for about 6 years. Untreated for about half that, because I have no insurance. Its been hard to hold down a decent job because of this. My gf has been basically taking care of us since shes been actually doing something with her life. Anon I cant tell you have absolutely useless and alone I feel both physically and mentally. I personally wanna be a better person, I wanna go to school, find a good job, finally get my fucking license, find some good friends, generally just be a new and improved person. Its just hard when you have a family thats not supportive and a gf who doesnt really understand what im going through. I mean I love her but when I going thought a hard time she just sit and stares and tells me "everythings going to be okay". I know that, but I would like to actually go to a doctor and get help. I care about her a lot, we've been high school sweethearts, she knows everything about me. I just wish she would listen and understand. and my family, well they dont really want me to do anything I feel like. they couldnt care if I was on the street or if I had a six figure salary, as long as I can pay their bill at the end of the month is doesnt really matter what I do. And I dont really have anyone besides them I can feel comfortable talking to. I feel trapped and alone. I've thought about running away from eveything and starting a new life. leaving it all behind me and just focusing on my future. I dream about it almost everyday, and I worry that im really close too its either that or I continue to rot. I just want to feel alive again, I just wanna feel whole again. Pape kinda related to my feels rn.
