>>7582026>>7591711I feel like I look good on paper - I'm academically successful & finishing a PhD in a quantitative field w/ good job prospects, I'm athletic & have a good body - I like to think my face isn't terrible either. I have cool hobbies & make an effort to act relaxed & easy going if I have to socialize.
On the inside I feel really messed up. Both my siblings killed themselves a while back, & I was addicted to self-harm & opioids throughout my undergrad - now I'm just on adderall, benzos, and antidepressants. I've been feeling more and more lonely these days as well -- esp since it was my 25th birthday last week. I've never been in a relationship & now this girl I have a crush on is graduating & I never even talked to her. I had so many opportunities and we did the whole hallway staring thing like every day. I feel like I'm just waiting for my parents to die so I can fucking follow in my sibling's footsteps.
I like my therapist, but she's pretty busy and I get that it's hard to give good advice.
Just needed to vent this.
>>7592068hope you like this paper anon
