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I've been using prescription medication to get through medical school.
I'm not abusing them and I make sure I don't get addicted to them; God knows I've lived with one addict long enough to know that I don't need to bring that kind of pain to the people around me. It's just I know deep inside that I really wasn't meant for this field. I get debilitated by panic attacks everytime I see a patient. My mind goes blank and my memory just keeps getting worse and worse. How do I cope with this? I trick family doctors to prescribe me the medication regimen I designed for myself. I try out new medications to see if they're good enough to get me through each day. I convince myself, through enough medication, that maybe I'm not in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Currently, I'm failing.
