>>7646574You really like somebody, have huge amounts in common with them and yet you push them away? That is a pattern I bet you have repeated a million times in your short life, people, things, opportunities. You have to change that pattern immediately.
You have an all or nothing, perfectionist attitude. If you can't have her totally she's worthless to you, worse still dangerous. "What? I never said she's worthless or dangerous! I love her!" No but you TREAT her as you would somebody worthless or dangerous, push her away and refuse to open up to her. Why would you do that to somebody so great?
I guarantee you that even if she was available, was with you, you'd conspire to fuck it all up.
So this chick joins my team at work a few years ago. Much younger. Cute, fun, outgoing. Many of the things I'm not, yet so much in common! And she latched onto me and told me all her secrets. "It's on!" Then we go for a drink and she tells me she's married and her husband is abroad for a while. She was in an unstable place and I could have taken advantage but I couldn't do it. I wanted to curse the sky for my "cowardice", "friend-zoning" myself blablabla. But fuck no. She's married to a guy who loves her. I wouldn't fuck that up for someone I care about. I'm happy for her, for somebody who I really like. We're still good friends and just being friends and opening up to her has really helped me to thaw out much of my uptight faggotry, opened opportunities for other friendships and relationships.
What I'm saying is that the answer to your problems lies exactly where you least want to look, and right now she is it. The only way people like us get out of our mire is this; stop hiding (because that's all you're doing), face your fear, face the pain, and realise it's a necessary part of the process of growing.
Pay special attention to pape related, chew on it, it is you. What would you have to do to change this?
