>>6891464All right OP, you aren't thinking outside the box. You gotta get outta the box. How? Be patient, I'm gonna tell ya.
First, get a high quality camera, the kind that wildlife photographers use or something similar, and start getting good at taking pictures. Don't have to be the best, just good enough to have some nice pictures.
Then you need to buy some matte black construction paper, about the size of a large computer monitor, like ~1 ft X ~1.5 ft.
Then you need to get a mahogany desk. I'm talking FULL mahogany, not mahogany toped or some cheap Chinese plastic shit.
Next you need to get some zinc supplements and take them at 1.25 times the recommended dose for 3 weeks. Not the recommended dose because you are not average OP, you are above average and better than the average zinc supplement consumer.
After the aforementioned 3 weeks, yu should be ready. I should have mentioned this earlier, but i'm on a roll now so fuck editing, but do not masturbate for at least a week before the end of the 3 weeks.
So after the 3 weeks, bring the black construction paper to your office. Gotta be construction paper, because you are building something here, something better than shitty regular paper. So, black construction on the desk, you stand over it and start masturbating. You can be a little bitch and use lube, but that compromises the artistic integrity of what you are trying to accomplish. So you jerk off until you jizz all over the paper.
You might be thinking, "Well why can't I just use white paint?" You can't use white paint because you aren't a little bitch OP. You have some integrity in a world with very little. So after you jizz on the paper, you, get this, jerk off a second time. That's right, you don't stop. You don't quit. You continue and you persevere until you jizz on the paper a second time.
Then you pull up your pants, get your camera, and take a picture of the paper, keeping the top of the table in the picture as a border.
