>>7887484So I was able to do this by fetching the mobile version of the page, i.e. "m twitch tv/user", but it was kind of a futile endeavor from the very beginning since Firefox won't let me just fetch remote HTML like that because of CORS policy. This does necessitate a CORS proxy (either remote or running locally) which is kind of a bummer but better than making a dev account on both Twitch and Facebook, I think.
I was finally happy with the result I wanted though I agonized with picking the color scheme because artsy stuff just doesn't come to me naturally. I also wanted to display current weather information but sadly the service is down as I make this post so it just shows "couldn't fetch information".