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I feel more trapped by the day. My job has basically blacked out my calendar for PTO, and my home life is insanely busy with twin infants. As I type this, they're asleep in the bouncers by my feet. Go to work, come home, be dad, get 2-3 hours of sleep, wake up, do it again until the weekend, catch up on chores and take care of the kids, then do it again. I need a break. I want to escape for just a little while, but I can't jeopardize my job or my family's stability. I'm forgetting what it feels like to be just me, independent of my roles as employee and father, and though I love my kids and enjoy my work, the weight of the responsibility has become overwhelming. I'm married to a wonderful woman I barely get to spend time with, I play the same three games over and over without truly enjoying them, and every thing I buy that would have brought me some small pleasure feels hollow. I know I'm depressed, I know something has to give, but it can't be me or it all falls apart. I feel completely hopeless and discontent in a life that is everything I ever wanted.
